Monday, December 7, 2009

santa stopped by early...

And he brought me a bag full of toys! In the last week, I've received a vibrator through edenfantasys, a vibrating cock ring, three porn DVDs, and a bottle of deep throat gel. Mr. S. and I had a very naughty night.... and an even naughtier early morning, too.

We had some late night adventures with the new vibrator, including a long, steamy shower. Reader, I cannot tell you how much more fun toys are when you "have to" test them out in every which way. We had a great time experimenting. For the purpose of SCIENCE, naturally. It was a blast. I'm so thrilled that edenfantasys invited me to test products for them. If you haven't looked into it, you should.

Even without product testing, though, I just love getting new toys. Even when they're just reincarnations of things we already have: vibrators, lubes, porn. This was our first vibrating cock ring, though. It was fun, but not anything earth-shattering. I thought cock rings were supposed to delay orgasm, but Mr. S. came faster than usual. That might've had something to do with all the foreplay. We were watching one of the DVDs together while he rubbed my ass and thighs. The more aroused he got, the more aggressive he got. Eventually he was fingering me and squeezing my ass, nibbling at my shoulder while the girls on screen screamed. He slid the cock ring on and fucked me hard from behind while we continued to watch. Because of the position, the ring's clit nub was upside down and grinding against my bottom while he fucked me. Hopefully tonight we can try it right-side up.

So, my toy collection now consists of a variety of vibrators, a cock ring, a feather tickler, honeydust, porn, and a few lubes and gels. What do you recommend we try next? The holiday season isn't over yet, y'know.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

clean is the new sexy

Thursday evening, after I said goodbye to the last few guests (and why is it that the last people always linger the longest?), I have to admit that I was slightly grumpy that Mr. S. had disappeared and left me to deal with them. I was grumbling more than a little when I trudged into the kitchen for what I knew would be hours of dish duty... only to find a nearly immaculate kitchen. The countertops were clear, the leftovers all in the fridge, the dishwasher humming. There he was: whistling and drying platters. Nothing is sexier than a man who helps out in the kitchen.

And of course, you know about my fascination with the kitchen...

I surprised him with a steamy kiss and ran my fingernails up and down his back. It didn't take him long to register what was going on and he did that sort of half-moan/half-kiss thing that I love. I was nibbling at his neck and then taking off his shirt, his belt, his pants--anything that got in my way. My intention was to give him the blow job to end all blow jobs, but before I could so much as kneel, he spun me around, bent me over the island, and fucked me.

I'm still a little trembly.

No, really. Just writing this catches my breath.

I was splayed over the island, trying to claw my fingers into the countertop, while he gripped my hips and fucked me from behind. It was immediate and delicious and everything I'd been waiting for. And when it wasn't enough, he turned me back around and boosted me up. Everything is a blur and a tangle but I do know my legs were wrapped around his waist, his face was buried in my tits, and I somehow bit my lip open trying--unsuccessfully--to keep from screaming.

After we both finished, I slid off of him somewhat less than gracefully and stumbled my way to bed. No shower, no nothing. Clean might be the ultimate in sexy, but it ends in dirty either way.

Monday, November 23, 2009


The last few months have been pretty difficult from an emotional standpoint. Obviously, this isn't really the forum for me to go into that, but I feel it's only fitting for me to make my next post a tribute to my mama.

One of the things I inherited from my mother was a joy for life and an unabashed zeal for sex. She was always very frank with us about sexuality. In fact, we never actually got "THE TALK" because it was such an open topic at home. While most people get the heeby-jeebies if their parents talk about sex, it was so normal Chez Sparks that it never occurred to me to mind. Thanks, Mom, for the great open-mindedness.

p.s. It's good to get back to the business of pleasure.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

it won't be soon before long

Shortly after my last post, my mom passed away. I'm still trying to put the pieces together for myself.

Sorry if you've been missing me. I'll write again soon. My goal is this week.

Keep your fingers crossed.

Monday, September 14, 2009

this could get messy...

Saturday night. Yes, we fucked outside again. But this time, the neighbors were outside partying next door, so we crept around to the other side of the house with a blanket and fucked on the lawn. At least two or three groups of people walked on the sidewalk past us; I'm absolutely impressed that I was able to be quiet enough to keep them from spotting us. I've got to say though, the idea of getting caught is way hotter when you're inside your house imagining it. Mr. S. LOVES sex outside. Me, I love making him happy. And it's novel, and I'm all about encouraging fun and new and interesting. Looks like I'll be spending a bit of time on my knees in dewy grass.

Then there's the Honeydust. This morning I woke up to the feel of a feather against my thigh. My man had sprinkled some dust there and was in the process of waking me up. Mmmf. I have never wanted to call in sick so badly. I promised him a raincheck for this evening, so I'll be good to review the deliciousness shortly thereafter. When I came home from work, I saw the remnants of this morning's snack all over the sheets. Looks like I'll be spending a bit of time rolling around in raspberry powder.

Maybe we'll invest in a massaging showerhead for all the extra bathing I'll be doing...

Saturday, September 12, 2009

the back burner

This is where sex goes at the slightest showing of stress, anger, illness, or distraction in our lives. I took my birth control pill this morning, looked down at the dial, and realized I hadn't had sex in a week. Mind you, we both flew high for a long time off having sex outdoors for the first time, and within plain sight of neighbors (who didn't see), no less. In fact, I'm typing up this reflection from my back patio, where I'm waiting for my husband to reappear any minute. Am I hoping for a repeat? You betcha. On the west side of our privacy fence, this time, is a different set of neighbors who are having a low-key party. We have six logs flaming in the fire pit. I want a sequel!

I feel, though, as if my desires go on the back burner any time something "more important" creeps up. In fact, this morning I received my first shipment from edenfantasys: Kama Sutra's Honeydust. And I'd reaaaaaaaaaally like to be able to review it in the morning. (HINT HINT, MR. S.) He's busy right now, but the very moment he comes out here, I'll do my best to give him the "naughty girl wants a deep-dicking" look and we'll see what he does from there. Ha! Hopefully I'll be able to file a Sunday report that yes, in fact, sex is on the front burner again. Ooh--here he comes! Shh! I wasn't here!

Saturday, September 5, 2009

so THAT'S what a privacy fence is for!

Last night, I was a naughty girl. My man and I were on the patio, enjoying the firepit, sipping on some chilled wine. I excused myself to "take care of something." Padding into the bedroom, I quickly removed all of my clothing and put on a frumpy terrycloth robe. When I got back outside, I sidled up to Mr. S and put my hand on his shoulder.

He smiled up at me and ran his hand up the back of my thigh until, to his delight and mine, he realized I was nude beneath the robe. He stroke my thighs and ass, pinched lightly at my mons, rolled my clit between his fingers. I was moaning (probably too loudly), which made him even more eager. At first, he wanted to fuck me up against the patio table. He had no more than entered me when he saw the neighbor pull into her driveway. I gave a muffled sigh when he pulled out, but quickly realized why. As much as I enjoy "the thrill of getting caught," I don't actually WANT to get caught. At least not by her.

Before I knew it, my man had my robe pooled beneath me on the concrete. He nibbled on my neck and shoulders as I sank to the ground on my hands and knees. We fucked under the stars with our neighbor maybe 100 feet away. It was somewhat surreal and very fun--and definitely hot. When he came, he grabbed my hand and brought me inside to do it all over again.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

dessert in bed

Mr. S. and I just purchased Honey Dust online from edenfantasys. Next week can't get here fast enough!

Neither of us is very big on food with sex. I had a bad experience with whipped cream once and he has never expressed interest in helping me to overcome my fears. We were both a bit intrigued by the idea of Honey Dust, though, so I placed the order today. Even if the powder isn't tasty or pretty-smelling, that feather duster might be fun.

My next goal will be to find some tasty treats to use during oral. I do enjoy giving my man a good blowjob, but if I could somehow get his cock to taste like a cherry jolly rancher, I think I'd be going down a lot more often. Ha! The only catch would be the cum shot. Because I can guarantee that cherry-flavored cum is no more fun than the original flavor.

Of course, I could tie all this back to my kitchen fantasy, but somehow pulling foods out of the fridge or going from item to item seems silly to me, if not a little close to a food fight. Mmmm, baby, I'm gonna swirl leftover spaghetti all over your tits. Uh, yeah. We'll stick with dessert.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

too tired for sex?

My man and I have had a whirlwind of a week and, excepting Thursday, didn't have a spare moment for sex. I'm talking passed out in the bed at night, dragging ourselves out in the morning to work. I was really hoping to seduce him last night after things settled down, but we had some unexpected company.

Don't you hate when your entire life seems to be conspiring AGAINST you having sex? Granted, if we were more adventurous we could've fucked on our way to an event, had a quickie in the shower, or woken ourselves up just a shade earlier, but we're that tired.

Doesn't really make for good reading, does it? To make matters worse, Aunt Flow has decided to come visit. I'm not against sex during menstruation, but the first few days I feel too crampy and uncomfortable to enjoy it.

I wonder what other women do. Do they push past the initial disinterest, or do they put sex on hold for the week?

Thursday, August 20, 2009

a midnight snack

There's something brilliant and devious about sleeping in the nude. It's sexy but practical, intimate and yet novel. It also makes 3 AM romps in the dark a lot easier.

Last night, there were terrific thunderstorms rolling overhead as we slept. This was the kind of storm that raises the hairs on the back of your neck, with thunder so deep you can feel it rattling your chest. Somehow, perhaps an errant thunderclap or lightning a shade too bright, Mr. S and I awoke at the same moment. He searched for me in bed, fingertips walking over the blankets and sheets in the dark. I got a craving; rather than hold his hand, like I would normally, I guided it to my nipple and pressed.

He's never gotten so hard so fast.

Before I could sidle up to him to stroke his cock, he was already between my thighs, forcing them apart and entering me. He pulled me against him by the hips as he fucked me deeper and harder. I wrapped my legs around his waist, fingered my clit, and came. That quickly. While I was still gasping for breath, he came hard and slid down to the bed, each thrust growing softer and smoother. We lay like that for quite a while, preserving the union, until he slid to my side. And then, maybe an hour after we'd woken up, we both drifted back to sleep.

I don't know if all that electricity was from the lightning or the spontaneity, but it was amazing. Needless to say, I woke up refreshed and had a great day.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

a little foreplay goes a long way

Tonight, I gave my husband our feather tickler and asked him to run it all over my body. The thing I love most about our tickler is that it has leather tassles on the end that give the yummiest little pops of pain during light spankings. After he'd run it all over my body, I decided that my new favorite is to have it slid across my throat. I took the tickler to him, too. His favorite was the feathers against his testicles. Ten minutes or so into our feather fun, Mr. S. lost it and dove onto my breasts, nipping and lapping at them each in turn. Before I knew it, I was lost in deep kisses and had his cock rammed hard into me.

We fucked in several different positions. (Sidenote: Mr. S. and I are not the "making love" types. It's all lovely, it's all loving, but it's also fucking.) First we tried missionary, which we're not huge fans of. I did the crossover leg trick I read about somewhere and felt like I was going to lose him. I loved when he spread my legs out wide, grabbed my hips, and rammed into me. Eventually, though, we switched over. I got on my knees and he came inside me from behind.

We played with several vibrators at once, including my super-turbo rabbit-thing and my favorite little pocket friend. He fucked me with it and teased my ass while I worked on my clit. I came twice before I melted onto the bed in a puddle of yum. It was awesome. While we were playing with my pussy, I asked him to tell me a fantasy or story. He has a hard time with this... not sure if it's that he isn't creative, or that he doesn't have fantasies, or that he doesn't feel comfortable sharing them. We talked about it a little bit after the fact and I think he's going to try and be a little dirtier next time. We'll see.

The tickler, though, is swinging into full rotation for sure.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

a married lady's fantasy

Tomorrow, when I come home from work, I will be exhausted. My body will ache, my mind will be fatigued. I will shuffle up my driveway, heels already in my hand, looking defeated. Oh, but when I open the door...

You'll have taken the day off to clean and the house will look immaculate. No kids. No distractions. You'll take my bag and shoes from my hands, set them in the foyer, and lead me to the master bathroom. There's already a warm bubble bath started, steam setting against the windows. You'll trace warm kisses along the curve of my neck while your hands knead slow circles into my aching shoulders and tense back. Tenderly, you'll draw my clothes off my body. I will sigh and bury my toes in the thick softness of the bath mat before you guide me into the water. It. Will. Be. Delicious.

After I've completely relaxed and shed the tension of my day, you'll take a spongeful of lather and caress my body with it, painting my breasts and stomach and arms in a foamy shade of white. You'll pull my hair down from its imprisoning clip, ease my glasses off my face, and kiss me. Just when I'm ready to melt into the water, you will disappear into the kitchen. After several moments of blessed silence, I'll close my eyes and drift off momentarily.

When I open them? I'll see a flute of champagne and a small plate with one chocolate covered strawberry. When I've revelled in this harmony for long enough (and really, is there such a thing as long enough?), you'll return with a fluffy towel, bathrobe and slippers. You'll guide me from the tub and take the time to dry my flushed skin. You'll kiss me passionately, hungrily.

And then you'll leave for the night so I can read a book and enjoy the silence.

Reader, were you expecting something else? I did say I'm MARRIED.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

review: waterproof turbo glider (blueberry)

I bought my first vibrator when I was still living at home with my parents. I selected it with the help of a woman at a local sex shop who promised me that it came well-recommended. Perhaps I should've gone back to thank her, but I was too busy having fun.

You can read my review at the link above. I just had to come back and post about it because it brought back some very happy (and very naughty) memories. In hindsight, I wonder if this vibrator shaped my sexual appetites today. I am vibe-crazy. I rarely play without one, and even more rarely COME without one. I like strong, hard pulses directly on my clit. I like to ride my toys from orgasm to orgasm, clenching and unclenching my pussy for varying degrees of vibration. For so many years as a single girl, BOB was my consistent sex partner when men would come (and come) and go.

I wonder if life would have been different if my first sex toy had been a glass dildo or nipple clamps...

edenfantasys was my first!

I've taken the plunge into the inviting waters of sex toy reviewing. My first review focused on a tried and true toy from back in my single days, the LAYAspot. Reader, all the down and dirty technical information you ever wanted to know can be found right here. How exciting! My first review! I plan to do a few more before I go courting for assignments, but I do think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Bonus: it's prompted a more in-depth conversation with my man about what toys he'd like to see in the house. I know he's timidly interested in anal play (on his end, no pun intended), but he hasn't really allowed me to take that anywhere. I'd love to get him some beads or something to help him relax a little. I also know he's got some rough play fantasies that toys could help with. Oh, the possibilities. I can feel my halo crumbling as we speak.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009


I have a small collection of vibrators, a feather tickler, some cock rings, and some funky lubes. That's it. Admittedly, the vibes do triple duty as dildos, vibes, *and* ass toys, but still. I've been lusting after the idea of getting a butt plug for a while, but I'm rather sensitive in that region so I'd like to start small. I'd also love to get him some toys, but when we shop he never feels brave enough to make a preference known.

Liberator pieces seem like fun to me, too. Just not sure where I'd fit them. So I thought one of the best things I could do to try some of this stuff without having to spend a fortune would be to test products. I've looked around a bit, but so far haven't had much luck. Perhaps once I've been blogging a bit longer and get deeper into the community, things will crop up. Until then, I'm filling my toy box one sale at a time. ;)

Sunday, August 9, 2009

life gets in the way

I haven't posted much this past week, as my sex drive has taken a tiny vacation. We had a busy few days, followed by some tummy upsets and stress, a small argument, and a very demanding workload. All of this came together in the FORM OF! no sex.

Last night, after 3-4 days of passing out from exhaustion sans-coitus, we both forced ourselves to stay up just long enough to come. I rubbed a vibrator on my clit while he fucked me from behind and for whatever reason, the lead-up to my orgasm was even more splendid than normal. I was so close to coming when he finished. Fortunately, he kept going long enough to bring me to the edge of orgasm.

It was, however, anticlimactic. It was one of those orgasms that's going to FEEL SO GOO--wait, what happened? Where the build-up is awesome, but then you just can't get to the punchline? Have you ever had an itch you couldn't scratch, because it kept moving? That was this orgasm.

I demand a do-over!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

weekend update

Since Friday night, we haven't had sex once. We did try this afternoon, but we were interrupted several times. It's so hard for us to get back into it once we get distracted. Two or three times we were all but gone, but I made a concerted effort to go back to stroking my man's cock until he came back to me. In the end, though, there was a more pressing issue and we had to stop. I'm hoping we can revisit our fun later tonight.

I tried a new handjob technique that Mr. S really seemed to like. While stroking up and down, I twisted my hand from side to side in a corkscrew motion. Not too light or hard, just enough so he could feel the pressure of my fingers spiralling over his shaft. He moaned much louder than usual, so I think I'm onto something there.

I can't give him really extended handjobs--at least, not without resting my arm. After 3-5 minutes my arm starts to go numb and ache at the same time. I know that can be frustrating for him, but I (greedily) enjoy lying on his chest, stroking his thighs or arms or ass while he strokes himself. He's never sexier than when he's lost in his own pleasure. I don't think he realizes how much that turns me on--probably because I get so into it that all I can seem to do is mewl and writhe around. Sometimes when he jacks himself off he'll ask to cum on me. I'm always up for that, particularly when it involves my bottom or thighs.

I've definitely noticed that he kisses me much more frequently and is a lot more vocal about his attraction to me. That means I've either got sex on his mind more, or he's just finally warming up to the idea of saying it out loud. Either way, it's a great change. I'm sad to see that our official no-less week is almost up, but I think I might extend it indefinitely. Depends what Mr. S has to say about the matter.

My next step is to try to turn him on when we're out of the house at the store, in the car, wherever. I wonder if I'd have to twist his arm to get him to be naughty in a semi-public place...

Saturday, August 1, 2009

friday night special

Last night, Mr. S. and I had a romantic dinner and several bottles of wine, which ended with us back in the bedroom again. A few points: we've had triple the sex this week that we normally do. Also, the sex has been more fun and has resulted in better and more orgasms. By that margin alone, the experiment in a "no-less" week is a success. I asked him yesterday afternoon how it was going for him and brought up that it could be a little more "no-less" if he wanted, and he seemed pretty excited by that.

We're still really heavily vanilla, though, and the routine is the same. We play with him, we play with me, we have sex (usually doggie-style), and then he gets me off with my vibrator(s). Which is not to say we always have time for more, but we certainly did last night.

He teased my ass quite a bit and told me how badly he wants to fuck me there. While I like light tickling and a little bit of rubbing, I'm not entirely sold on the idea of anal. Even just his fingers are uncomfortable and the one time we tried anal, I bled for a week. Even with lube, liquor, and lots of relaxation, it's still tight.

Another "kink" that I suspect he might enjoy is light D/s play. So far, though, it's just been light spankings and calling me a naughty girl. You might wonder at this point what MY kinds are, other than my fascination with being fucked in the kitchen. The truth, reader, is that I don't have many. I tend to get turned on by the turn-ons of the one I'm with. That makes us an interesting combo: one who doesn't feel comfortable exploring his fetishes and one who's dependent on them to have her own.

At any rate, I'm ready to call this experiment a success--and we're only half-way through it!

Friday, July 31, 2009

and for my next wish!

Mr. S. found some free time this morning and came to me on the couch. He peeked over my shoulder at what I was doing and in an authoritative voice said, "Come here."

Five minutes later, we're making out and heavily petting like a couple of teenagers in the back of a car. I led him to the bedroom and we laughed while making out, being silly and lusty all at the same time. He took off my shirt and licked and sucked at my nipples. Reader, I have never understood why, but for whatever reason, I can barely feel anything that happens to my nipples. It's a total turn-on to see him lapping and nibbling, but I can't feel a thing. Before too long he had his hand down my pants, rubbing my pussy and squeezing my ass. That drives me CRAZY--I absolutely love it.

After a few minutes of stroking, him whispering how hard he'd fuck me, me mewling and begging for more, we fucked doggy-style. Instead of lying forward on the bed to bury my face to moan, I arched my back. He actually pulled my hair! I loved it. But I think he wasn't sure if that was okay, because he resumed grip on my hips instead. Well, Mr. S got tired after fucking me frantically, so I got out my favorite vibrator and rubbed my clit while he got hard again watching me. I whimpered about how badly I wanted his cum all over my pussy and he obliged, ramming his cock into me hard without warning.

After we both came, he grabbed my rabbit and plunged it into my cunt while I continued on with my smaller vibe. He was fucking me with it so deep that I could feel it in my abdomen and I had the most intense orgasm I've had in a very long time. The bed was soaked, my hands were soaked, and I could hardly move.

Once I'd caught my breath, I led him to the shower so we could both clean up. Mmf, it was totally worth the wait and definitely our best sex yet. I wonder if he would've even initiated during the day like that before our "no-less" week... seems to me he would've been scared off by my focus on something else. I'm proud of how he took charge and told me what he wanted; I'm even prouder of the hard pounding he gave me.

the saga continues...

Last night was a bust. Mr. S. and I ended up playing a video game and going to bed pretty late. That's a kind of intimacy that we're good at: comraderie. But he didn't make the slightest hint about sex.

This morning, though, he was handsy in the kitchen and I thought for sure he would've dragged me away if he could have. He even complimented my figure and bit my neck quite a bit, grabbed my tits and ass, and gave me a few slow, lingering kisses. Some day, I want to start that way and have him guide me down to my knees, where I can suck him off in the kitchen while he stands there, fingers kneading in my hair.

He could boost me up onto the counter--or better yet, bend me over the kitchen table--and fuck me right in front of the windows for all the neighbors to see or not. Mmf. If he doesn't fuck me soon, I'm going to have to take matters into my own hands. And what is it with me and the kitchen?

Thursday, July 30, 2009

ugh! frustration!

So today was Day #2 of our "no-less week," and Mr. Sparks and I were actually granted a good chunk of alone time in the middle of the day. This rarely happens. Part of the deal for "no-less" was that I was not allowed to initiate; that way, he'd never be thinking, "Oh well if she wanted sex, she would've asked."

Reader, I don't mind saying that I definitely could've used a firm cock this afternoon. Starting this blog and reading what others have on theirs has revved my engine quite a bit; I've been hornier the last few days than in a long time. And yet, he did nothing outside of hold my hand and give me chaste kisses. WTF? Is it even possible that he just flat-out wasn't thinking about sex that whole time? I doubt it. It's difficult for me not to assume that he's just not that attracted to me, though he denies it and told me many times today how beautiful I am. If I went and put on some lingerie or started masturbating, would that count as initiating? I think so. Ah well, I'll just have to have some patience. Hopefully it pays off around bedtime...

no-less week: night #1

Last night Mr. S. came into the bedroom where I was lying, took me by the hand, and led me into the bathroom. We showered together, more soapy and loving than sexual, though he did stroke my clit a bit and play with my breasts. The hot water ran out (stupid dishwasher!), so we went back to the bedroom.

He tried to go down on me for the first time. I think I messed it up, because I was a little insecure about the whole thing. I haven't "groomed" in a bit, so for one I'm a little furrier than normal. For another thing, he caught me completely off-guard. But I felt a lot of pressure to make it good for him, as his first attempt at oral, and I crumpled. He did end up trying it, but only for a few minutes before we moved on. What little bit he did do, mmf. Unfortunately, he got a hair in his mouth so I called it quits. (What a turn-off!) We agreed to shave me soon and try again.

All that led to some rather vanilla missionary, followed by the typical vibe/masturbatory session for me. I love that he plays with me while I get off, but he's so quiet it's hard to get into it. Sometimes I wonder if he's bored out of his mind down there...

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

a no-less week

Even though I frequently insist that I'm nearly always up for sex, my man has a hard time initiating. He feels like he's intruding; he's scared of rejection and, frankly, he just doesn't know what to do to turn me on. Having me be the initiator isn't the solution. I've done it before and it just leads to more problems. So, what's a girl to do?

Tonight I told him I'm having a "no-less week." If he approaches me, he's getting laid. Anytime, anyplace. He says, "that won't work because I'll feel like you're just doing it out of obligation."

I say, "But I'm the one who said "no-less week," so obviously it was my choice from the start."

He says, "oooh."

We'll see how it goes. God, I hope he fucks me in the kitchen.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

a not-so-maiden voyage

I've been with my man a little over 4 years and our sex life is, shall we say, tepid? Always has been. After numerous fights, discussions, and experiments, we've determined the root of our problem: sexual expression. Mr. Sparks is less experienced than me and grew up in a household where sexuality was denied, if not demonized. He has a hard time initiating, expressing wants--even being romantic. And after 4 years of what I can only describe as a DROUGHT for me, I've had enough. I'm fighting back. Consider this your walking papers, bedroom boredom. My slutty side is back and she wants everything she has coming to her.